Perhaps it's receiving an untimely solicitation for AARP membership in the mail, or coming to the realization that I've never owned so many sweatpants, or ascertaining that I'm just a few holiday meals short of needing to request a seatbelt extension, or the acceptance that Netflix is my most visited Web site; but as of late I'd have to say my hip factor is in dire need of repair, revival or replacement.

What pushed me down this slippery slope of superficial self-evaluation and soul searching? It all began with an email from my friend Peter about a new breed of traveler, the Jetrosexual. We can thank Virgin Atlantic for the moniker and my current state of malaise (though using a French word ought to count for something).

What is a Jetrosexual? I fear that since I have to ask, I am surely not one. My investigation took me to the epicenter of hip, Virgin Atlantic's Web site, which proudly brandishes the 11 Commandments of a Jetrosexual. (I eagerly scanned for words like crossword puzzles, NPR and sensible shoes, but to no avail.)

The 11 Commandments of a Jetrosexual

1. Thou shalt leave terra firma behind in order to move business and culture forward.
   
2. Thou shalt travel economy class, on rare occasions, just to keep thine self humble.
   
3. Thou shalt have at least one passport stamp from a country that now goes by a different name.
   
4. Thou shalt not own one of those inflatable neck pillows.
   
5. Thou shalt be able to pack a week's worth of clothes into a single carry-on bag.
   
6. Thou shalt respect the five-minute rule when using thine lavatory.
   
7. Thou shalt be able to order a beer in at least six different languages.
8. Thou shalt never hold up the security line.
9. Thou shalt not be a chatty Cathy with thine seatmate.
10. Thou shalt have a favorite airport and be prepared to explain why it is thine fave.
11. Thou shalt have thine passport ready to go at a moment's notice.

All hope is not lost. I reckon (Jetrosexuals likely don't use the word reckon) that if I can adhere to number nine, I'm halfway home, make that halfway to my very trendsetting destination.

(Hmmm, which flight would James Bond choose?