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Missing Soles at the Airport

I recently pondered the unthinkable: to defiantly pass through security with my shoes firmly on my feet. Yep, for a brief moment, I swore to myself it would take a house falling on me to remove my ruby red slippers—or natty brown boots as the case may be.

Had I been sporting Birkenstocks, loafers or flip-flops, I would have gladly slid my footwear off and tossed it into the tub for a quick trip through security.

But this was different; I was wearing dress boots that required a shoehorn, unbuckling and a twenty-mule team to remove properly. Add to that the image of my spud-like toes poking through sock holes the size of manhole covers, and I was ready to spin on my half-inch heel and call off the trip.

Even though my soles were as thin as saltines, the TSA agent (or shoe sheriff as I like to think) said it didn't matter, that all shoes had to be removed. My pointing out that I was wearing boots did not amuse her in the least. (Lucky for me she wasn't packing heat.)

Bending over hopping on one foot, my checkpoint cha-cha-cha and brazen toe exposure brought some comic relief to my fellow line holders. Look Mommy, big man hopping. My composure and self-respect were nowhere to be found; I believe they each hitched a ride with my footwear tub to the other side, the safer side. We met up later at the gate.

On my return trip, I still bristled when I saw the taunting sign that stated all shoes must be removed, but this time I was prepared. I wore new socks and old loafers (with very poor arch support I might add). I was a rebel in Weejuns, brandishing footwear that took mere seconds to kick off and plop into an x-ray tub. I laughed as if it was no inconvenience at all. (We all protest in our own different ways.)

As a traveler I've learned to pick my battles. There is no victory to be had here, even pouting holds little gratification anymore. The whole shoe removal dance really exposes more than one's bare tootsies. To me it's a constant and odd reminder that air travel will never really be the same, and perhaps that's what I'm wrestling with, not my snug-fitting boots.


Have a question for Tom?
Tom Conway, who reminds all that shoe removal and weak pant seams can be an ill-fated pairing, looks forward to your questions, comments and/or tips.

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Comments

I enjoyed your article and insight........your comments resonated with so many air travelers I am sure. Thanks for bringing humor to such a "pain in the brain" process everytime we catch a plane.

For this reason, I absolutely loathe airport security-the whole shoe removing, laptop vandalizing, personal article disposing, respect lacking, apathetic, ignorant, film exposing, hurried bunch. I now will not fly anywhere unless it is absolutely necessary. I'd rather have the terrorists. After all, we're all much more aware and I think we can take care of ourselves now.

Our tacit acceptance of the FAA and US security state and passive accumulation of "horror stories" underscores the larger battle-- our battle for freedom. Are we as a culture that pitiful and blindly cowed as to believe we're *safer* in the simulated fascistic world of the post-9/11 airport than we were before there even *was* "airport security"? Scary stuff indeed.

Our tacit acceptance of the FAA and US security state and passive accumulation of "horror stories" underscores the larger battle-- our battle for freedom. Are we as a culture that pitiful and blindly cowed as to believe we're *safer* in the simulated fascistic world of the post-9/11 airport than we were before there even *was* "airport security"? Scary stuff indeed.

Hi Tom, I really enjoy your columns on travel because I travel a lot myself. I just returned from two conferences, Nashville, and San Diego. While in Nashville, someone suggested I buy some Salsa that everyone agreed was some of the best. Because the jar was heavy, I put it in my rolling briefcase so my luggage wouldn't be over weight... I didn't have any problems leaving Nashville, but when I was leaving San Diego, going thur security, they took my salsa... told me if was about 1/1/2 oz over limit.. I think they just wanted my salsa... And yes, I always make sure I have on good socks and easy to take off shoes for just the reasons you noted in your comments. I have an upcoming trip- 20 days, in several Scandinavian countries.. can't wait to see what I will get into there.

Sherry

My daughter recently flew out of Dallas to visit us. She hadn't flown since before 9/11. She called me as she was getting ready to go to the airport. I reminded her that she couldn't take any liquids over 3 ounces and that they had to be in a ziplock bag. As an afterthougt I said something about taking her shoes off when she went through security. Her reply was, oh hell, I guess I will just wear my flip flops, that way I won't have to go through all of that. Well she did wear the flip flops, but they took her aside and scanned her from head to foot, just in case she was hiding something in her tank top or low rise jeans. It doesn't seem to matter what you do to make it easier, they find something else to make life difficult. Happy traveling.

Tom,

I enjoy reading your weekly commentaries. Thank you.

MarĂ­a

The worst part of this whole "shoe charade" is that it's based on the actions of one sole individual who attempted this "shoe bomb" stunt years ago. The TSA is an inefficient joke, and it's proved by this "security measure". We inconvenience millions of travelers based on the actions of this one man. If he instead had attempted to strangle a flight attendant with the his pants-leg, would we all now be removing our jeans before filights?

And why do we do this? What if the "shoe bomber" had some explosive in a pant pocket? Would we all be taking off our pants at security now?

So, here's my story...I wore Crocs to the airport the other day on my flight up to Seattle. Talk about smug. I slipped those Crockies off like nobodies business and slid right through security. Fast forward to my arrival in SEATAC. As I am bustling to the elevator in the garage to go down to the rental car level and my Crockies skid on the slight rise and I pitch forward to my knees. Having my laptop in my back-pack gave me extra momentum as it slid up my back and my head hit the pavement with a sickening thud. I was mortified. And in pain. Am better now but am having difficulty recreating the moment when I thought traveling in rubber shoes was a good idea.

whether you like it or not, the removal of shoes is part of the security process now. pretty simple......so rather than all these comments talking about how "lame" this process is, how about addressing your situation: you decided to wear nearly unremovable boots to the security area knowing that you would need to remove them. You COULD have worn the loafers and changed into your couture when you got on the plane. I don't have sympathy for you, but I do have sympathy for all those people behind you who had to wait because of your decision. Multiply you by thousands making the same decision, and you know another reason why security lines crawl.

I couldn't agree with you more. It is noticeable to me that NO other country has adopted this ridiculous policy. I await the day that we do all go naked through the airport... it's such B.S.

Sandals may move you through the security line, but I'd hate to have to evacuate a plane wearing nothing but flip flops.

I feel your pain. I was recently in Faribanks, Alaska, boarding a God-awful 4am flight. There were 6 of us passengers in the entire airport and they made all of us take off our shoes, including the 80 year old couple who were on a walkers. At 4am none of us knew our own name let alone had the mental capacity to do anything illegal. And watching the 80 year olds try to get back into their shoes was just heart-wrenching. I'm not a proponent of profiling but there has to be a more logical way to protect the safety of passengers.

My husband has decided that he will just go through airport security naked.

He has been stopped for a multitude of reasons - belt buckles, shoes, pants (the things they sew into items is amazing).

He'll be that guy in his boxers, hanging out in line...

Are you all kidding me? WAH! I have to take my shoes off! WAH!

Get over it. If you don't like it, drive to your final destination. Can't drive? Don't go.

Deal with it. No exceptions for the 4AM flight with 6 passengers either. DEAL WITH IT!

While I agree that cell phone use has gotten out of hand of late, I have to disagree with a complete ban on in-flight use. Without cell phones, many people would not have had that last call from their loved ones that were passengers on the flight that crashed in Shanksville, PA on 9-11. We also might not have known what they did to make that plane crash.

I'm with you Tom. It is because of this outrageous state of affairs that I now own an entire wardrobe of clog-style shoes. Happy contrails. K.R. Jessee

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