I was recently revisiting (involuntarily) my inner fetal position on a transcontinental flight, painfully aware of my waist's ample width and the seat's lack of it. Who knew that my lifelong penchant for comfort food would eventually cause me so much discomfort?

When the beverage cart ran aground on my shoulder blade, the flight attendant paused, and reminded me to keep my shoulders in. Perhaps he would return later with my coffee and a semblance of concern.

It's easy to complain about air travel and sometimes I have to watch myself as I can slip into the unattractive role of whiner. I know it's happening when I begin a sentence with, "Once I was on this flight to…" It's down hill from there.

I used to have a friend in the airline industry who would tell fellow travelers that he was a hand model en route to a photo shoot. By not divulging his true vocation, that of a ticket agent, he avoided hearing any lengthy horror stories about what his airline did or did not do (though I argue his in-flght scowl could have achieved the same effect).

We all have travel stories and this week Zagat, the arbiter of good taste and tasty goods, tapped into some by way of an airline survey. The survey covered U.S. and International airlines, asking travelers to rate airline comfort, food, service and Web site on the standard Zagat 0 (low) to 30 (high) scale.

Survey results feature a top-rated airline category, along with ratings by individual airlines. Do take a look at the outtakes page, which features the rapier wit of some frustrated travelers. Comments include "Sitting any closer might constitute marriage in some states" or "First they make you need a drink, then charge you for it."

Zagat Survey Overview

U.S. Airlines Survey

International Airlines Survey

More outtakes 

Tom Conway, who out of courtesy stops whining the minute he notices someone's eyes glazing over, looks forward to your questions, comments and tips.