Where does one start?

Total oblivion by many. My only solace is the shared nod or glance from a fellow seasoned traveller that says "yeah, I heard/saw/smelled that, too. Whaddaya goin' to do...?"

Most comments by passengers that fly once every five years are like nails on a chalkboard to me, but the most annoying comments I hear are those that pertain to flights delayed due to weather. Yeah, it's frustrating and yeah ,I want to get wherever I'm going ASAP, but if the guy behind the yoke doesn't want to take off due to weather, I'm 101% behind that decision.

In line at the customer service counter. The woman ahead of me spent 10 minutes berating the ticket agent because her flight had been canceled because of mechanical difficulties. "Why doesn't a company of your size have a spare airplane available in case there is a problem?" she demanded loudly. The agent politely replied "Because they cost about $60 million each, ma'am."

The national trend toward obesity is very evident among air passengers. My pet peeve is the obese man or woman that spills out of their assigned seat over onto the next passenger or into the aisle. On a recent flight from Wash. DC, a very obese and large woman huffed and puffed the entire flight. Her left leg and arm spilled into the aisle and when the attendant bumped her arm and leg with the refreshment cart she screamed and proceeded to whine until we landed.She kept asking others if we had witnessed "the assault". Give me a break.

I worked for many years at a private travel club. We asked our passengers/members to complete a trip evaluation sheet after each trip. One time, upon returning from a trip to Bethlehem and surrounding areas, a passenger commented on their evaluation that the trip was "too Jewish". Another time, during a trip to China, a passenger complained about the lack of "American" food! There were always complaints that the locals, in whatever country we were visiting, didn't speak enough English! Some people really just need to stay home!!

I fly frequently and hit most of the Airlines and I concur.

Why does the last person to board the plane have the biggest carry-on?
Why can it never be checked because they have to have it with them?

Why on Southwest does the guy with A 44 feel that he has to make sure he boards before me with A45.

Why don't Airlines have tequila? (except sometimes in 1st class)

Why won't Connecticut allow you to buy a Southwest drink ticket booklet?

Why do the kids know what to do in security and their parents don't?

and why in Chicago where they have lines based on travel experience, everyone thinks they are an expert?

A family of 5 was in line at security before me -- obviously going on vacation. The TSA was reminding everyone to take off their shoes. The woman and her kids argued with the TSA that flip flops were not shoes. They lost. When he asked to see her boarding pass, she handed him her entire travel brouchure.

Tom,

It's not so much what I've overheard as it is a behavior I see every time I board a flight. In the summer I grab a seat near the entrance to the jetway to sit and wait. I'm one of the last to board because I don't like sitting on hot planes or standing in a hot jetway. Every flight someone comes in from nowhere and jumps in front of the line waiting to board. I feel like telling the person we'll all get there at the same time but I'm sure they wouldn't understand that concept.

Ed

I once heard a man use the most fowl language to an airlines lost-baggage person. In the middle of his selfish tirade he said "I booked my tickets three weeks in advance just to prevent this sort of thing from happening." He was making me so mad with his selfish, ignorant comments I wanted to go over to him and get in his face and give him a dose of reality therapy but knew that the airlines employee wouldn't want me intervening. Luckily the airlines employee handled this guy very professionally - certainly much more so than I would have done.

Customer at American Airlines counter in Denver: Is water a liquid? The answer was yes it is a liquid and no you can't take it through security.

I concur about weather delays. If one airline at an airport has weather delays because the airport is shut down, doesn't it follow that other airlines are in the "boat" so to speak?

I love this story!!!

On one of my many trips, my husband and I were clearing security and heard one of our bright TSA guards comment to another TSA guard that Johnny Cochran had just cleared his security line. My husband I overheard this and both commented on the fact the Johnny Cochran was actually flying commercial. When we finally collected our belongings and were on our way we stepped onto the escalator to go to the terminal, to our surprise who stood before us…none other than Jeffery Fieger!!! Sorry guys, wrong color, wrong criminal attorney. At least it was prior to his death in 2005. You can't win them all :)

Unbelievable, those people who are oblivious to the obvious line of people waiting to board the airplane, who come in from the side and always at the front of the line....

On a recent flight from NY to Houston, a family traveling from out of the country delayed our flight for over 20 minutes because the man in charge (I assume the father) kept getting out of his seat to have the attendant assure him that he and all of his family (scattered over the entire plane) would be able to de-plane first because this flight had been delayed due to weather and he was afraid of missing his connection in Houston. And proceeded to complain throughout the entire trip because airlines didn't make special accomodations for people who were on a tight schedule.

Not about air travel, but this was a keeper:

I was on a Metro train in Washington DC on my way to work. Three tourists were gathered around the Metro system map that is provided in each Metro train. One person said, "Why don't they have a 'You are here' button on this map?"

Did I mention we were on a moving train?

On a flight from Burbank, California to Seattle a passenger was complaining because she could not see Mt Rainer from her side of the airplane. She felt that the pilot should have told passengers which side of the airplane would be the "view" side when we entered the plane.

On one flight I took, the woman behind me went to use the rest room in her stocking feet, then came back complaining because her socks were wet!

While at a convenience store the kids chose snacks and I picked up a new travel atlas at the same time and proceeded to check out. In comes a man wanting to put $10 cash on a pump and wanting to cut in front of me to do it. He made the complaint, "I have never been to a gas station where someone does their grocery shopping! That's why I stopped going other places." The clerk handled it beautifully by saying, "Well that's your choice sir." My response would have been, "I'm a mom with two kids, if you think this is grocery shopping you should go with me sometime and see what it's REALLY like."

Brazil; a lady got on the plane with a GOAT! She and her "friend" sat in back by the restrooms and we had to gingerly get around her "friend" as the lady slept and the goat slept on the floor in the isle! I would say "only in America" but it was after all Brazil.

However, the family of five might as well have a goat as they allow the kidlets to race up and down the isle, vomit on the seats, change diapers on the seats and expect the fellow passengers the "beautiful" sight of breast feeding the little darlings, regardless of age! I'm wondering if the whole family gets a drink!

Flying is like riding on a Greyhound bus in the '60's!

I have been a Flight Attendant for 40 years. I am retiring soon and will miss all the wonderful characters I fly with everyday. I often feel as if I am transporting the entire Jerry Springer audience from A to B.

If you want to see a wonderful series of parodies about flying and flight crews, please check out Pam Ann,a stand up comedian from the UK. You will laugh yourself silly. She actually did some TV ads for British Air.

Pam Ann British Air Ads .

Cheers,
Eileen

In an airplane with tight legroom, the passenger in front of me insisted on his right to recline his seat. During the first attempt, I was leaning forward and my upright tray hit me lightly in the head. But it was a real problem for the legs as well. The flight attendant was able to reseat the guy, after he complained about my obstructing his right to lean back.

In a similar situation, I called the flight attendant, who told the guy in front of me not to recline his seat.

This one is my favorites since I can empathize with someone who just wants to get home, but also with the zen-like patience one must have to have to deal with unreasonable people.

My flight connecting through Dulles was delayed and so a planeload of us were going to be stuck in DC for the night. We all got in line at the customer service desk - it's about 10:30 at night. I was at the front of the line and behind a woman who was talking on her cell phone "yes, I will try to get home tonight. Yes, I know you have a meeting tommorow., etc. etc." She gets to the front of the line only to be told that no, in fact there are no more flights this evening to *Stamford, CT* at which point she goes completely ballistic. "How can there be no more flights!??!?!?! Well, check Reagan!!! What kind of service is this!?!?!?!!" The counter person politely tried to point out that there are a limited number of flights since Stamford is rather small, but this only incensed the woman further.

As I said, I could sympathize with both sides on this one. The woman only wants to get home and there is not much the rep could do, it's not like she could charter a plane for the woman. And did the woman *really* expect there to be a 11pm flight from Dulles to Stamford?????

Sorry Tom, no complaints.
Though I have no-fun trips same as the next guy, I usually try to have a laugh or two about it -- c.f. http://mapskeysclocks.blogspot.com/2008/06/another-flight-delay.html
Thanks for keeping the light touch! Happy flying, Sean

One of the more baffling moments I saw was a pair of women who must not have flown for many, many years. They cut in front of my husband and me in the security line, worked up into quite a melodramatic state. Turns out they were distraught by the fact that they could not accompany a friend to the terminal to bid her goodbye, so they somehow convinced the ticket agent to provide them with some sort of visitors-only gate pass. By the time had obtained them and returned to security, they had nearly missed the departure and hysterically demanded access to the front of the line. Apparently those extra couple of minutes with the friend were crucially important ...

I booked flights from Hartford, CT to Charleston, SC in February for a June vacation on US Air. From February to June, my flights were revised almost a dozen times. At one point the airline expected me to fly out of CT at 6am to Charlotte Douglas to catch a 3pm flight to Charleston - we could have driven there and back twice. I was able to straighten that out. However, we had a 11:45 departure scheduled for our last day, wake up, have some breakfast, relax, get to airport. They changed our flight to 6:30am. I called the day before to find that there were seats on my original, later flight, but I would have to pay $150 a piece for them!!! How can the airlines do that? By the way, our 6:30am flight was postponed until 9:00 - could have slept a little later after all. I HATE FLYING!