For me, maneuvering through the stanchions, ropes and queues of an airport security checkpoint has all the appeal of exploring a corn maze in a parka in July. Being a Point A to Point B kind of guy, I relished any route that can be described as how a crow flies. Don't get me wrong, I can take the road less traveled, just don't make me remove my shoes, empty the contents of my briefcase or answer the burning question, "Is this your laptop?"

So you'll understand my glee when I learned that the Transportation Security Administration (TSA) is working with manufacturers to produce new checkpoint-friendly standards which will eliminate the need for passengers to remove laptops from their cases before going through security. It will just require having the right bag in your possession.

While style points have no place in the TSA equation, a bag is considered checkpoint friendly when adhering to the following requirements:

–designated laptop-only section
–laptop-only section completely unfolds to lie flat on the X-ray belt
–No metal snaps, zippers or buckles inside, underneath or on top of the laptop-only section
–No pockets on the inside or outside of the laptop-only section
–Nothing packed in the laptop-only section (except laptop, of course)

These are just preliminary guidelines so don't run out and buy a new bag quite yet. The TSA is currently testing submitted bag prototypes and expects to announce its laptop policy baggage change in fall 2008. In the meantime, take a look at the bag styles that the TSA believes will produce a clear and unobstructed image of the laptop when undergoing X-ray screening.

My happiness will be complete when the TSA initiates checkpoint-friendly shoes, watches, cell phones, wallets, toiletry items, CPAP machines and water bottles.

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One too many trips to the airport has left me a keen observer of human behavior, a bystander to the bizarre, an onlooker to the odd. At times I liken my time in the terminal to a rerun of the bar scene in the first Star Wars movie; though in most cases, I feel like I'm the alien.

Sure air travel has become convoluted and difficult, but no matter how many times I fly, I'm puzzled by the number of travelers unfamiliar with the protocols and realities of post-911 travel. I've come to expect that if 20 people are in line before me, that 15 will be unaware that shoes need be removed through security, meals are no longer served on domestic flights, space for carryons is limited and that flight attendants don't like being called stewards or stewardesses.

As a patient and chronically-early traveler, I try not to sweat the small stuff and to pick my travel battles accordingly. It's easy for expectations to be low, but in recent months I've noticed that some complaints are more irritating than the offenses cited. There are valid complaints, and then there are those begging for scrutiny, or at least my scrutiny.

For example, on my last trip, a family seated across from me complained (from boarding to cruising altitude) that the TSA agent deliberately took extra time with their driver licenses, poring over every detail unnecessarily. (Okay.) On the window seat, a fellow whined about the beer selection. (What, no Stella Artois?) Behind me, a troupe clad in flip-flops, t-shirts and short-shorts took issue with the cabin temperature (every 12-14 minutes). Their grousing died down when the ambient cabin temperature reached the heat setting reserved for baked potatoes on my countertop toaster oven.

Perhaps my favorite complaint of the flight was directed toward a wonderfully animated and friendly flight attendant (one who brought the portly, sweating man lots of bottled water). A rowmate remarked to me that she seemed fake and phony and a bit too happy. (This was a tough crowd.) I remarked that I take every smile for its face value and applaud her valiant effort to make us all feel welcome (and keep me hydrated).

I'm sure that minutes later; said passenger revised her featured complaint to "I sat next to the most dreadful man...."

I bet you can do better, what are some of the most outlandish travel complaints you've overheard?

Posted by Tom at 10:51 AM | Permalink | Comments (24) | TrackBacks (0)

Delta Air Lines In-flight Safety Video Makeover

I'm one of the five people on the flight (aside from crew members) who actually pays attention to the in-flight safey demo. Flight attendants are there for my safety, so doggoneit, I pay attention. Delta's latest effort makes it easier to do just that with its stylized version of this often ignored ritual. I wish all flights were like this. Of course, it doesn't hurt that our in-flght instructor shares a striking resemblance to Angelina Jolie.

Virgin America Sketches Out Its In-Flight Safety

Virgin America wins an originality award for its in-flight safety cartoon. It's dry wit and sardonic slant should bring a grin to even the most jaded traveler, though I'm not sure how well it will play after the tenth or eleventh screening.

Posted by Tom at 11:28 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

I love Ben Schott's book of miscellany or as it's officially titled: Schott's Original Miscellany (and I love the reader reviews on Amazon). Truth be told my favorite of his series on miscellany is Schott's Food and Drink Miscellany. (Those with delicate constitutions should avoid the section on the Ortolan.) I digress.

A friend pointed out to me recently an entry on page 65 in the original book. It's seen above.  While I love the idea of this, as a former ticket agent, I find the suggestion laughable. Upgrades are rarely negotiable these days. And in the rare instance where a complimentary upgrade is bestowed, it will be based on information contained in the passenger's online reservation record.  I still like the idea and may try the concept in a different venue, perhaps have one fashioned to read: Give this man a raise!

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Swooning On Demand

The mental scars of last years Valentine’s Day debacle have barely healed, when you receive an unexpected head thump from Cupid himself. Apparently, a Far Side card and Snickers bar, a  Valentine’s Day gift does not make.  The Messenger of Love rarely gives second chances, but perhaps this year he'll take exception. 
 
I admit Valentine’s Day can be a stressful time for the hopeless romantic. What new weapons of amour might the Messenger of Love relinquish from his arsenal? Acting as Cupid’s personal emissary, I'm here to expose the smoldering romantic that you are. (Work with me, here.)

It's still not too late to leave your sweetheart swooning and Cupid upstaged--and all without having to shop. Because true love knows no price tag. (Again, work with me here.),  I suggest something more from the heart and the head: poetry.

A quick visit to Poets.org brings the words of a poet to the tongue of the romantic (and the romantically challenged). Search for poems by author or subject. Think of it as your online Cyrano.  And should words escape you, the site’s listening booth provides audio clips of poems and samples from the Academy's Poetry Audio Archive.  The pen may just be mightier than the cherub’s arrow.

And if you're in a rush check out the site's section Be Mine: Poems for Valentines

Now to tie this into travel and Valentine's Day...whenever you travel, bring a little something home to your sweetie pie. Physical distance may have separated you both, but upon your return unwrap a little treasure that holds a story about how you were thinking of said sugar dumpling while on the road. (Focus. You can do this.)

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The last time an airline agent asked me if I had extra baggage, I responded by sharing my history of bumbled relationships and poor career choices. (Oh, not that kind of baggage?) It seems she was referring to baggage that's guided by wheels and not by remorse and recollection (but I digress).

This week United Airlines had some extra baggage news to share as well; effective May 5, United will begin charging a $25 service fee for a second checked bag on non-refundable domestic tickets for customers who do not have at least Premier Associate/Premier status in Mileage Plus or Silver Status with Star Alliance. (International itineraries are not impacted by this policy change.)

Fuel prices being what they are, I should have seen it coming. After all, it was reported that United spent $1.6 billion on fuel just in the last quarter of 2007.

Even though most passengers believe a free bag allowance of two checked items is each citizen's inalienable travel right, you can bet every other major (and minor) airline is waiting to see how the change will play out when it takes effect later this spring.

The move will likely affect leisure and family travel the most (no traveling light there). Business travelers I know, usually rely on carry-on luggage and perhaps checking one piece. I don't think the $25 fee is excessive, but like any new fee, it will catch the traveling public off guard and initially be met with resistance, much like the advent of pay-as-you-go meal service.

It could be a tough sell. As a former ticket agent (poor career choice #106), I found collecting excess baggage charges required the skills of a grief counselor.  And yes, there were five stages:

1. Denial: "I can't believe you're charging me extra."
2. Anger: "Why me? I'm never flying your airline again."
3. Bargaining: "Look, how about just a warning this time."
4. Depression:  "I should have never left the house."
5. Acceptance: "Okay, next time I'll pack lighter."

As a traveler, I'm more concerned about the effect additional fee collection will have on processing passengers through the airport.  Dealing with denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance at the ticket counter can slow things down a bit.

What do you think about this new fee? Tom Conway, who finally retired his tatty duct-taped tweed (albeit vintage) Skyway bag, looks forward to your comments.

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 Q. Any tipping tips to share?  — Carol S.
A. Uh oh, a tipping question. Quite frankly, a waiter could douse me in Drambuie, torch my toupee and withhold a fire extinguisher, and I would likely leave a 15 percent gratuity, okay 14 percent but I'd let him know how fried I was.

Since I don't have to take my own advice, tipping should be commensurate with the level of service received. Granted a cab driver may just get you from point A to point B, but if you arrive with all tires inflated and doors intact, a tip is a fine way to celebrate your safe return to the curb and the outside world.

Let me give you some of the generally accepted tipping levels, or better put, amounts that will spare you from groans, eye rolls or being pelted with change.

As a general rule, the magic number in the U.S seems to be 15 percent for good service, 20 percent for the exceptional.

Other guidelines include:

The bottom line is we all know good service when we experience it.

I'm a big believer in rewarding great service and reporting bad service. And while tipping is up to the individual, I can't think of any good service situation that doesn't warrant a kind thank you to the service provider. (And besides, hugging strangers can just get you into trouble.)

Tom Conway, who really doesn't wear a toupee (yet), welcomes your questions, comments and tips.

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 Dream a little dream of me...

Model of Boeing's 787 Dreamliner

I recently attended an Expedia Corporate Travel and Northwest Airlines event at the Boeing Customer Experience Center in Renton, Washington. One word: WOW! (yes, worthy of all caps and an exclamation point).

What impressed me about the venue is how after one step into the building, you realized you're walking toward the future of the aircraft industry. It's what I've always imagined 21st century travel would look like. We toured several aircraft mockups, including the new generation 747-800 and the star of the show, the 787 Dreamliner.  I believe travelers have a lot to look forward to.

 An interior that's actually inviting

The prized line-up of Boeing aircraft.

My photography skills don't do the plane's interior justice.

After my tour of the 787 Dreamliner, I'd have to say that this plane could make being stranded on the tarmac for several hours a pleasant experience.

Model of the 747-800, which borrows much of its design and structural advancements from the 787. Boeing engineers wanted to be clear that it's a whole new generation of 747.

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Week One: So Far, So Good

As several of my friends and I mulled over the meaning of the coming year with all the verve of a teenager facing an evening with Mom and Dad, I was amused that nary a one of us had a decent resolution to proclaim.

Slumped in the arms of our respective wingbacks, beanbags and chaises like refugees from Christmas past, we found it a chore to ponder self-improvement on full stomachs and maxed-out credit cards.

Certainly we acknowledged having a bevy of bad habits, all of which were begging for scrutiny, but could we not speak of their banishment another day? (As you can see, procrastination never made the list.)

In the light of day (and oddly on my own accord), I had a change of heart and enlisted the powers of my finest fountain pen to help me outline the course corrections needed to make Tom a better man in the coming year, or at least a better traveler.  (No, I did not run out of paper.)

Under travel, I resolved to champion behavioral changes that would add a couple years to my life and a few more smiles to my journey (for all involved).

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Checking In With Good In-Flight Manners

I grew up in a family where manners shared a level of importance commensurate with impeccable dental hygiene and unwavering fiscal responsibility. Sentences devoid of "yes ma'am" or "yes sir" fell on deaf ears. "Please" and "thank you" were cemented to each request and acknowledgement, respectively.

Failure to send a thank you note was considered valid proof that you truly had been raised by wolves; and interrupting someone mid-sentence was punishable by an arched eyebrow and spirited rebuke on the drive home.

Amazingly, I survived Camp Decorum and for the most part became a better man for it (or so says my mother). Perhaps my biggest adjustment growing up was realizing that manners are a personal choice not shared by all.

When it comes to airline travel, I often wonder if some of my fellow passengers hitched a ride to the airport on a turnip truck, seemingly oblivious to the ways of playing well with others.

This week, my friend and VIP corporate travel agent supreme, Julie Ellin, gave me renewed hope via email. She wanted to know if I had heard of a program Delta Air Lines was introducing called Planeguage. (No ma'am, it was news to me.)

I read with interest that Delta had produced a series of animated videos for their blog, showcasing some oafish onboard behavior. Each offering was basically a gentle nudge or thinly-veiled lesson on how not to act (that is, just in case one's wolf pack didn't have access to cable or an inclination to socialize.)

So far there are five videos, including Shady Lady, Lav Dance and Kidtastrophe. The hope in releasing these videos is that some viewers will have an epiphany and spring to their feet with newfound awareness that kicking someone's seatback is a no-no or fighting for armrest supremacy is uncivilized behavior. (We can all dream, can't we?)

So far I have not seen myself in any of the animated videos, but I'll keep checking future releases just to make sure.

Take a look for yourself at Planeguage.

You may also want to check it out a video report on AP Live News.

What subject would you like to see addressed on Planeguage?

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 Take the Traveler IQ Challenge

When it came to grade school geography, I was the kid armed raised, propped high by the other arm, grunting “oh, oh, oh, I know, I know.” For some strange reason my earnest exuberance to show off all that I knew about the lands of the world was, well, dismissed and found tiresome by the likes of Miss Greene, Miss Love and Miss Robertson, teachers who oddly had little interest in knowing that Vatican City is the smallest country in the world or that Helsinki is the capital of Finland.  

This week, my love of geography and faraway places found a new diversion, thanks to the errant online wanderings of our always-in-the-know marketing director, Eric Heller.   I feared for my productivity and that Eric had stumbled on another online gem, upon hearing those enticing words spill from his office door, “Hey you’ve got to check out this site.” Like Ulysses drawn to the rocks by the siren’s call, I fell for it, “What site?” Hopefully, the janatorial staff wouldn't find my  mummified, cobweb-covered body months later hunched over the keyboard, monitor in mid-game of Traveler IQ Challenge.  

The site centers around an unmarked map of the world (or geographic region of your choosing) with visible borders. The game starts when you are shown the name of a place, city, landmark or capital. You’re job is to find the place and click your mouse on the part of the map where you think it is located. A green arrow then appears marking the correct location, and formulates the distance between the reality and your guess. The farther off the mark, the more points you are charged. I was only off 57 km for Westminster Abbey and an embarrassing 1267 km for the Kremlin. My third grade self would have lowered his head and raised arm in shame and moved on to his math assignment, unaware that time heals all wrong answers.

Take the Traveler IQ Challenge.

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I was recently revisiting (involuntarily) my inner fetal position on a transcontinental flight, painfully aware of my waist's ample width and the seat's lack of it. Who knew that my lifelong penchant for comfort food would eventually cause me so much discomfort?

When the beverage cart ran aground on my shoulder blade, the flight attendant paused, and reminded me to keep my shoulders in. Perhaps he would return later with my coffee and a semblance of concern.

It's easy to complain about air travel and sometimes I have to watch myself as I can slip into the unattractive role of whiner. I know it's happening when I begin a sentence with, "Once I was on this flight to…" It's down hill from there.

I used to have a friend in the airline industry who would tell fellow travelers that he was a hand model en route to a photo shoot. By not divulging his true vocation, that of a ticket agent, he avoided hearing any lengthy horror stories about what his airline did or did not do (though I argue his in-flght scowl could have achieved the same effect).

We all have travel stories and this week Zagat, the arbiter of good taste and tasty goods, tapped into some by way of an airline survey. The survey covered U.S. and International airlines, asking travelers to rate airline comfort, food, service and Web site on the standard Zagat 0 (low) to 30 (high) scale.

Survey results feature a top-rated airline category, along with ratings by individual airlines. Do take a look at the outtakes page, which features the rapier wit of some frustrated travelers. Comments include "Sitting any closer might constitute marriage in some states" or "First they make you need a drink, then charge you for it."

Zagat Survey Overview

U.S. Airlines Survey

International Airlines Survey

More outtakes 

Tom Conway, who out of courtesy stops whining the minute he notices someone's eyes glazing over, looks forward to your questions, comments and tips. 

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Recently, I arrived home after a less-than-stellar, more-than-irritating commute to find a mailbox stuffed with items fast-tracked for the paper shredder. As I rifled through the refinance offers (as if I’d ever part with my 2003 fixed interest rate) and flyers and bills, I felt the weight and trim profile of a once familiar, albeit wayward friend.  Sandwiched between the sheets of lesser mail missives, was good old Mr. J. Peterman. He (well actually his catalog) hadn’t changed one bit; 67 pages of time-traveled treasures, none of which I needed, all of which I wanted (at least the ones that could make me a better man).

It’s not any old catalog. Far from a register of things to buy, it is a more of a manifesto of how to travel, how to observe, how to cherish that which has been forgotten. It is from a world where traveling is a pleasure (or an adventure) and not a curse.

Each page unveils a dreamy sketch as if photographs were a crass alternative to that which the human eye and hand can conjure. And while the illustrations can slow a heart, it’s the writing that makes me swoon. Nothing is forcibly sold; instead the reader is taken on a trip to a place where the item was discovered, bartered, lassoed, traded or smuggled out. Certainly you can buy it, but that never seems to be the point. With no questions asked, magical things arrive in your mailbox, gifted by an heiress, prized by a Pasha, coveted by mere mortals.

For the ladies, perhaps a visit to Beacon Hill 1913

“Lamplight on the cobblestones, ripples of Mendelssohn coming from the big brick townhouse on Louisburg Square. It’s late December, party-time among the Brahmins. Inside the warm salon, a collective eyebrow arches slightly when a young woman enters wearing this dress, instead of the usual long, late-Edwardian gown; what to make of such a thing? Mr. Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr., standing by the cut-crystal punchbowl, is observed to smile. Ah well, then, yes, there you have it. We do indeed appear to be entering a new era, and that’s just that. Beacon Hill Dress, ca. 1913, acquired at an antique shop on Charles Street.”

For the gents, how about a little role playing in an authentic French farmer’s shirt?
 
“When a man puts on this authentic French farmer’s shirt he may very well find that his hands look bigger. He will become sturdier and more forthright; either that, or more canny, only time will tell. At the dinner table, people will automatically start to offer him seconds and thirds. Is that sweet thing there giving him the eye and nodding toward the haystack? He knows what to do.
French Farmer’s Shirt (No. 1953), different and good-looking, found in an open-air country market near Lyon. I saw a gent there wearing the same shirt; he was either a peasant or a lawyer from the city getting back in touch with his roots, possibly both. It takes some confidence to wear this one, but nothing like storming the Bastille.”

The day my badger bristle shaving brush and soap arrived, I disposed of my disposables and never looked back.  And while not all men are destined for the Classic Inverness Cape or the Frontiersman Jacket, I’m glad my old wayward friend and consummate voluptuary has returned. When I travel with Mr. Peterman, it’s as easy as turning a page, forgetting about security and enjoying a little time travel.  

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Airline Agents Behaving Badly?

Shanghai and (Beijing) Surprise

The year was 1982; the movie: Blade Runner. It left me speechless just thinking about the prospects of the future and the environment in which we’d have to live, at least according to director Ridley Scott and writer Philip K. Dick. One element of the movie continues to haunt me to this day: the part architecture played as a character in the film. My imagination was hard-pressed to come up with something better or more ominous for a twenty-first century cityscape than that of Blade Runner’s Los Angeles of 2019.

This week, I may have found its 2007 counterparts: Beijing and Shanghai. When I came across Budget Travel’s coverage of traveling in China which included Reflections on Rapidly-Changing Beijing, I saw cities like no others.

Unlike Dubai, where intense development and dramatic architecture have redrawn the city’s skyline, Beijing and Shanghai’s new architecture is unfamiliar, foreboding and inescapably futuristic. While Dubai still seems to hold hands with a few vestiges of the last century, the images of China portend a juggernaut of change unrealized before.  I found it both invigorating and unsettling at the same time. 

• Take a look at Budget Travel’s Beijing slideshow
• More China photos from Tony Law
• Shanghai Building Updates
  Beijing Building Updates 

Update Entry: Greg Girard, Phantom Shanghai

One of my Expedia compadres sent me the link to a fascinationg slideshow by Greg Girard of Vancouver, B.C.  His Shanghai images are haunting, the title of his book spot on. Take a look at the CBC's slideshow and listen to Mr. Girard's explanation of his subject and process.

Go to Phatom Shanghai slideshow

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There you have it Mary, some fine tips from the folks who know. Stay tuned next week when I tackle the really tough questions like business attire and airport parking.

Tom Conway, whose technical prowess ends with enabling his Out-of-Office Assistant, looks forward to your questions, comments and tips below:

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Parking lots as easy pickings 

As the big thaw begins and hibernation for business travelers and bears ends, it's that time of year when we take to the wilds and pursue our well-earned leisure time. (Work with me here.) And with that circuitous intro, I bring you my PSA for the upcoming camping season. If you should go in the woods today...

When Yogi and Boo Boo roamed the woods, a bear’s life was simple: Secure an unattended “pic-a-nic” basket, elude Ranger Smith, and then take a nap. Their modern-day counterparts are discovering that foraging for gourmet goodies at National Parks is a bit more challenging these days. But like Yogi and Boo Boo, being “smarter than the average bear” helps. Today’s park bear is a forager of noted intelligence. Why scrape the backcountry for grubs and berries when a food locker called a car is available in any parking lot.

Where you see a car, a bear beholds a bento box. A National Park Service study revealed bears could discern between makes and models, preferring Hondas and Toyotas as lunchboxes of choice due to ease of break-in. (A Miata is the car equivalent of brown-bagging it.) Take the advice of the rangers the next time you go camping. Put all food items in the campground’s bear-proof boxes or store properly.  If your food is improperly stored, it may be confiscated (by equally adept rangers) and a $50 fine may be issued to protect visitors, property and bears.  

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I recently pondered the unthinkable: to defiantly pass through security with my shoes firmly on my feet. Yep, for a brief moment, I swore to myself it would take a house falling on me to remove my ruby red slippers—or natty brown boots as the case may be.

Had I been sporting Birkenstocks, loafers or flip-flops, I would have gladly slid my footwear off and tossed it into the tub for a quick trip through security.

But this was different; I was wearing dress boots that required a shoehorn, unbuckling and a twenty-mule team to remove properly. Add to that the image of my spud-like toes poking through sock holes the size of manhole covers, and I was ready to spin on my half-inch heel and call off the trip.

Even though my soles were as thin as saltines, the TSA agent (or shoe sheriff as I like to think) said it didn't matter, that all shoes had to be removed. My pointing out that I was wearing boots did not amuse her in the least. (Lucky for me she wasn't packing heat.)

Bending over hopping on one foot, my checkpoint cha-cha-cha and brazen toe exposure brought some comic relief to my fellow line holders. Look Mommy, big man hopping. My composure and self-respect were nowhere to be found; I believe they each hitched a ride with my footwear tub to the other side, the safer side. We met up later at the gate.

On my return trip, I still bristled when I saw the taunting sign that stated all shoes must be removed, but this time I was prepared. I wore new socks and old loafers (with very poor arch support I might add). I was a rebel in Weejuns, brandishing footwear that took mere seconds to kick off and plop into an x-ray tub. I laughed as if it was no inconvenience at all. (We all protest in our own different ways.)

As a traveler I've learned to pick my battles. There is no victory to be had here, even pouting holds little gratification anymore. The whole shoe removal dance really exposes more than one's bare tootsies. To me it's a constant and odd reminder that air travel will never really be the same, and perhaps that's what I'm wrestling with, not my snug-fitting boots.

Have a question for Tom?
Tom Conway, who reminds all that shoe removal and weak pant seams can be an ill-fated pairing, looks forward to your questions, comments and/or tips.

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One of my Expedia Corporate Travel friends and an all-around great guy, Kjartsen Philipsen, was onhand as a guest for the landing of Qantas' A380 at LAX. His keen photos give you a real perspective of how big this plane really is. Thought you'd enjoy a gander of something grander.  

Kjarsten volunteers to provide scale to this behemoth.   

 That's some wind beneath these wings!

.

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I think the word behemoth is often overused. Sure you can use it on a whale or a supertanker, but after that you’re pushing it. Actually this week I used it several times outside the realm of fishes and ships, when the behemoth of the skies, the Airbus A380 landed in the United States--one flight at LAX and the other at JFK.
 

Does the world need an airliner big enough to carry the entire town of Peavine, Alberta, population 555?  Airbus thinks so and has about 150 orders for the big bird, though none from U.S. carriers at this time.
 

Based on sheer size, it is impressive. In fact, I had a difficult time finding a film clip of the landing in Los Angeles without accompanying sound bites fraught with gleeful expletives expounding on the size of the aircraft. Lucky for you I did find one where the videographer managed to contain himself.
 

Click here to see A380 land at LAX

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With last summer's blockbuster Snakes on Planes playing to terrified DVD renters worldwide, perhaps it's time to take it to the next level and produce an equally horrifying sequel: Kids on Planes.

Oh relax, I love kids, but if a recent article on consumeraffairs.com is any indication, travelers' nerves are wearing thin over unruly children at 30,000 feet. Accoridng to the article, AirTran received over 14,000 emails in support of its decision to remove a family from a flight because of a loud and disobedient child.  

Perhaps I have selective amnesia or perhaps I was strong-armed into submission by parents who felt kids should be granted permission to speak only upon graduating college, but there definitely seems to be a shift in what parents deem acceptable public behavior for their children. Unfortunately for them, it seems the traveling public is not on board with it.

Read complete story:

Passengers Applaud Airline Measures Against Unruly Kids

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It's time for my public service announcement as Daylight Saving Time (DST) is not what it used to be. No longer set to begin at 2 a.m. on the first Sunday in April, DST now begins on the second Sunday in March.

That's right weary travelers, mark your calendars for March 11, and consider setting your clocks ahead one hour at bedtime and then allow yourself an extra hour of shuteye. It only seems fair.

And should you need to know what time it is in Vanuatu or Venezuela, check out this great site featuring times around the world.

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If the post office can keep track of your Aunt Frida's finest fruitcake while in transit to your holiday home, it seems logical that checked luggage should enjoy the same courtesy. Oddly though, the bar codes on your bag tags function differently and are more about telling the automated bag conveyors where to direct your bag than how to monitor its location.

The good news is things are about to change with the introduction of the Radio Frequency Identification (RIFD). In the near future, microchips will track your luggage on its journey, allowing airline staff (and you) to know its whereabouts should the need arise.

Lose yourself in more details about this new application.

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Posted by Tom at 3:34 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

This week a family of three was removed from an AirTran flight when their little girl of three would not remain in her seat and continued to misbehave and ignore crew instructions. After delaying the flight 15 minutes,  the airline decided to have the family removed from the flight. No doubt, the remaining 112 passengers rose from their seats and applauded, or did they? When it comes to kids on planes there are definitely two camps of thought.

The following Q&A, resulted in some of my most heated email responses. Bring up children on planes and prepare to defend yourself. Who knows perhaps there's a movie in the making. If you loved Snakes on Planes, just wait util you see Kids on Planes!

Q: How do you handle it when flying first class and a parent is carrying along their noisy, crying child who kicks the back of your seat, and makes your flight miserable while the parents do nothing?

Unfortunately, seems like there is never enough room in the overheads to put them there.
—MV

A. Dear MV,
It's a good thing I only use readers' initials or you wouldn't be safe from any parent on any plane on any route served by any U.S carrier.

In your defense, it's understandable to feel exasperated by unruly children at extremely high altitudes (or at Olive Garden for that matter). It's equally frustrating when the accompanying parent is oblivious to the fact that Amber is using your Mont Blanc pen as a pretend lipstick liner.

On the other hand, after having traveled with my niece and nephew as toddlers, I gained a whole new respect for parents traveling with children. By the time we landed, my suit looked like a drop cloth and well, let me just say someone needs to invent a better diaper.

My sister toted along enough stuff for a two-week stay in the Andes. Later, I learned you need it all. I also discovered cabin pressure really does play havoc on a kid's inner ear.

Am I waffling? Not really, I just think long durations in close quarters call for an added dose of patience and consideration for and from all parties. When you think about it, flying is the equivalent of sequestering 150 strangers in your house with the doors locked and movement restricted as you wait for a uniformed authority to instruct you on exit strategies. Quite frankly, I'm surprised flying is as civil as it is.

MV, your options are really limited if you don't want to make the 6 o'clock news or be restrained by air marshals. You can begin with a polite hello and engage the would-be albeit adorable menace and responsible parent when the first salvo of bad behavior is released, and kindly ask them to please not kick your seatback. While you don't need to exchange addresses for holiday cards, sugar can get you farther than vinegar.

Most kids (and parents) are not sociopaths, so when they find out they're disturbing you, they'll likely refrain. Of course - some won't - and in that case you're in for a bumpy ride unless other seating is available.

Anyone who has traveled with children knows it's a feat that requires super-human powers from mere mortals. Should you need some traveling tips for mastering minors in motion, I've found flyingwithkids.com to be a most informative guide.

I must confess that once I did find a short-lived way to stifle a child's interest in my every in-flight move by suggesting that the flight attendants needed help serving drinks. Needless to say, I never got that ginger ale.

Posted by Tom at 1:44 PM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

I've always been fascinated by the Golden Age of Travel, when planes and passengers demanded your attention and the skies were nothing less than an exciting and accessible new frontier. 

Fast forward through the last three decades or the Brown Bag Age of Travel as i like to call it. Not much to report.

That is until now, I spy a glimmer of hope as Boeing revealed its latest 747 interior. Yes, we have some 'ah' factor here. It's not the glamour of Bogey and Bacall, but it's a direction that speaks to the way we thought travel should look in the twenty-first century. 

 "Ground Control to Major Tom..."

Posted by Tom at 3:38 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Posted by Tom at 9:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

In a story begging for excessive use of puns, double entendre, and bawdy humor, I have decided to take the high road. Yes, this is rare moment for me when decorum and good taste have won out (for the time being). Of course that doesn't mean I can't furnish you with a link to this story of high-flying flatuance.

MSNBC: Flatulence, not turbulence forces plane landing in Nashville

I would be remiss if I did not mention some of my favorite headlines related to this story:

New York Daily News: Her seat in first-gas section KOs flight
The Buffalo News: Fire and flatulence spark panic on plane
NBC4.com: Woman Under Fire After In-Flight Flatulence

I came across one enterprising company that knows a golden opportunity when it sees (or smells) one. Flat-D Innovations: Don't let Flatulence Spoil Yours or 99 Others Travel Plans

Alright, I think I've exhausted this subject...for now.

Posted by Tom at 6:23 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Posted by Tom at 10:27 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

I was heading to work today, navigating the many mazes of mass transit in my fair city, when I spied a fellow commuter with suitcase in tow. suffice it to say this intrepid soul was taking the bus to the airport. Riding the bus is a fine precursor to airline travel, seems to soften the expectation of the latter.

Anyway, the man lumbered with one of the largest wheeled duffle bags that I'd ever tripped over. If it had contained food, a family of four could have survived a winter in the Sierra Madres with this rolling cache of consumables. I felt sorry for him, knowing all to well the bag would be battered, bruised and damaged in some way before its return home.

Stay away from giant pieces of luggage. Here's my geometry-based reasoning. Remember the movie "The Blob", the 1958 sci-fi thriller that starred Steve McQueen? If not look here: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0051418/

In reality any time you double the surface area of something, whether Blob or suitcase, you more than triple its volume.

So a huge suitcase, like the Blob, really can't support itself or retain any structural strength. The bigger the suitcase, the more likely the damage to contents and its exterior. The Blob really couldn't have supported itself, let alone have eaten Cincinnati; and that goes double for the over-sized duffle bag.

Posted by Tom at 2:07 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Welcome to Overheard Bin!

When it comes to travel, everyone has a story, some good, some bad, some excruciatingly long, others perfectly to the point. Whether a tip, a tale or a did-you-know-that, we hope our blog will be one of the layovers on your next itinerary.

For me, I suppose I have travel in my blood. At six months old I was diapered, dazed and destined to board a flight with my parents and sis from San Francisco to Tokyo. A mere 33 hours and Honolulu fueling stop later, we touched down in the Land of the Rising Sun. Three years later we made our return flight and I haven't stopped traveling since.

To this day I prefer the drone of a prop engine to that of cricket's call to put me to sleep. Yep, travel consumed (read warped) my formative years, but I suspect or at least wish to believe I'm a better person for it. Travel made me adapt and gave me a perspective I'd otherwise not enjoy; understanding that it's a small world and I have it pretty good, and no matter how much I travel, there's really no place like home. (Why am I clicking my heels?)

Posted by Tom at 2:05 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)